Mood:  chatty

My voice is nearly gone this morning. 

After two days of screaming for my teams—LSU and the Saints, I'm nursing myself back to health with hot coffee and king cake (the perfect combination).

For the entire football season, the New Orleans Saints have been all the chatter at the water cooler. This morning, the morning after they claimed the Super Bowl Championship title, they are the talk of the nation—and more than just the Who Dat Nation.

I spent Super Bowl Sunday with great friends and their family members. One thing I've always been thankful for, since my first day in Louisiana, are the families I've met and spent time with. They have great stories to share, often paired with great food. Sunday's gathering was no different. This was a family, like so many others in the Gulf Coast, who've stood by their team, even when they were the "Aints"—the worst team in all of sports history.

Generally, I think Saints fans were in shock to be going to the Super Bowl, even after they'd hoped for it all season. So the win was even more of a shock—but none the less, the celebration roared. From the party I was at, we could see and hear the fireworks from across the lake to New Orleans. Finally, a celebration they only dreamt of was a reality.

The road to the Super Bowl, for Saints fans, has been a long one; 44 years in the making. The Saints longstanding tradition of losing games was odd to me, considering just how obsessed southerners are with football.

Last night brought me back to attending my first Saints game—this year's pre-season win against Cincinnati in the Super Dome. It was the start of my first season actually paying attention to a team, as I watched every Saints game this season (something I never thought I'd do).

The hype leading up to last night's game was more exciting than the actual game itself (aside from that second half, Sean Peyton). However, the hype started long before the road to the Super Bowl. Since Hurricane Katrina left New Orleans in ruins, the Saints and the Dome have been synonymous symbols of a city coming back to life. With each victory this year, came a new slogan—Bring the wood, finish strong, black out, Breesus, and Black & Gold Super Bowl, naturally.

When it came time for playoffs, the NFL tried to have it their way—Brett Favre vs. Peyton Manning in Miami. The Saints vs. Vikings game was all about Favre, even when the Saints were scoring—oh, Favre just can't hear because the Saints fans are too loud. They'd said. But the Saints won in an amazing game, put into overtime. Then, the story was of course, that the team and city had been through so much; meet Katrina, the media's favorite story. 

With that black & gold Super Bowl upon us, Saints fans flocked to the stores for the newest gear. With that, our favorite stores like Storyville printed up our sayings "What Would Breesus Do?" and "Who Dat Nation." The NFL tried to rain on our parade, ordering cease-and-desists for all merchandise featuring the Fleur-de-lis and or the Super Bowl numerals, or anything of the "Who Dat" nature.

Funny, the NFL never cared before. The NFL never wanted to trademark "Aints." The stores fought back, the NFL apologized, and unlicensed gear sold like hot cakes (I promptly purchased the ever-so-controversial "Who Dat Nation" shirt from Storyville).

So last night, we were in Miami, we were packed onto Bourbon, we were glued to the television to see if we could really do it. The worry was such: if we lose it, when will we get this chance again?

I was certain the game was going to be about two things—the God-like Manning vs. Katrina Hero, Brees. But it was far from that. It was the Colts vs. the Colts. If I were blind, I wouldn't have known who the Colts were playing, because they were clearly the favored team. However, the Saints had the sentimental vote.

The victory was sweet, and still doesn't seem real, for a team that's been through so much. Of course, Katrina and the city of New Orleans was brought up in the post-game moments. But more than anything, the nation seemed to be captured in a silent moment of Brees holding his one year old son, while tears welled in his eyes. After all, the question Saints fans have been asking for years can finally be answered—Who Dat say dey gonna beat dem Saints?

Nobody.  

Posted by wittywriter7 at 1:51 PM CST

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Mood:  celebratory

The February issue of House & Home Magazine came out this week featuring my story—photo and all—on the cover, "Suite Spaces: The Best Bedroom Suites Offer Calming Hues and Lush Textiles Mixes."

I know I've expressed my dream of being a magazine writer, and there have been times I've dreamt of having my writing published in a prestigious magazine. But I don't think I've ever even dreamt of having anything take the cover. My reaction—a quiet "yessssssssssss!" with a few fist pumps—surprised even me; I didn't know I cared that much.

Truth is, sometimes I find myself writing so much I lose sight of my goals. Do I want to be a famous writer? No, but I do want to make enough money to write from home and raise a family one day.

Having a cover of House & Home Magazine won't make me famous. It won't pay a month's rent and it won't find an agent for me. It will, however, find a spot in my portfolio that will make its way to a future employer. It will also be snug in a frame for all my apartment to see.

The story in February's issue, like all stories I write for House & Home, was a challenge. I'm not a designer, I'm not an architect, but I am trying and learning. This story is part two of my four-part series, this one concentrating on bedroom suites, particularly guest bedrooms with coordinating bathrooms.

Honestly, the day I have multiple guest suites in my home...that's when I know I've made it. These guest bedrooms and bathrooms were more beautiful than my master bedroom and bathroom (ahem, my only bedroom and bathroom). The story details 12 bedrooms and bathrooms, naming the materials and techniques used.

One of the suites was inspired by a Eurpoean hotel room, so there was tufted fabric on the walls, dramatic drapes, and pillars in the arched doorways. The entire suite was the bedroom, a sitting room, bathroom, and a spiral staircase that lead to a personal gym and kitchenette. Must. Be. Nice!

Another home had two guest suites (this was the picture featured on the cover). It was a New Orleans-style home with several set of French doors that lead to small balconies. The entire home was decorated with Louis XVI furniture—very dark wood with intricate carvings. The fabrics in the bedrooms were either silk or antique, and all the drapes were custom made. It reminds me of the White House, especially with the great crystal chandeliers hanging from plastered medallions.

I've already completed part three of my series, which concentrates on kitchens—indoor and outdoor. Kitchens, as you may assume, hold a special place in my heart since I love to bake and cook, so the stories on kitchens are always fun. I love picking out features from all the kitchens I see and building a dream kitchen in my mind—built-in banquette, hanging copper lanterns, pot-filler faucet, pullout spice racks, large island, full wet bar...

I haven't decided exactly what to do to celebrate my cover success. Dinner? Wine? A great book? Honestly, my celebration will probably be a cinnamon soy latte, so I can write my next assignment.  

Posted by wittywriter7 at 12:01 AM CST

Updated: Friday, February 5, 2010 9:27 AM CST

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Mood:  don't ask

Episode 6—From the previews, it looks like this episode will be one that doesn't completely piss me off, Ashley-style, as it looks like she gets rull mad and possibly leaves. Knowing what a lil tease MTV is, she won't follow through, but here's to hoping. 

The recap in the beginning tells me Mike told Ashley about a relationship he left back home, with a guy named Tater....umm how in the world did I miss THAT? Anywho, opening scene is Andrew and Ashley in the hot tub and Ashley is being lame. Typical. She's getting pissed because Andrew "isn't being serious" with her and she wants to have a heart to heart, because she knows nothing about him (probably for good reason). 

We are reminded that photography is Callie's passion, so she's out in DC taking pics. Interesting. Back at the hizzle, Callie says she is applying for a photography position at a local paper, The Washington Blade. She calls the office and leaves a super lame message when the guy doesn't answer. But we all know she'll get the internship.

Andrew gets pumped because he got a new pair of sunglasses in the mail—not just any pair of shades, though. With that, he heads to da club. He picks up some girl in a hot pink tube dress and says she "has to" go home with him, she doesn't want to, but she gives the digits out regardless. So Andrew goes home to flirt with, and annoy, Callie. Andrew then says "it's tough to be a guy in DC" to which Ashley replies, "oh it's tough to be a woman in DC, in fact, don't even start."

Oh, it's been started. And so begins the yelling festival we've been seeing all week long. Andrew tells Ashley she just thinks she's sOoOoOo hot and she's not. Ouch. So Ash claims she's tired of the bullshit and starts complaining to Callie, who shuts her down—"nothing happened, you guys said things to each other." Ashley continues, saying Andrew thinks the rules don't apply to him. Errrr ok, what rules?

Mike is back at the HRC, working, I guess or talking about gays in the military; fair enough. Back at home, Mike is on the phone with Tanner, someone from back home. From the sound of the conversation, Tanner is coming in town and then I connect the dots that Tanner is Tater. But I really like the name Tater. So that's what it is. 

Callie gets an e-mail from Kevin, the guy with the internship. So she's getting her resume and portfolio together (again with the goals). She then does this dramatic move where she skips the pizza, cracks her knuckles and sits down at a computer with a blank screen. She then says she's never had a reason to have a resume. Uh, chica say what????? See also: Silver Spoon.

Meanwhile, Ashley is screaming her face off because Andrew starts a pizza fight and gets pizza in Ashley's bed. Mike gets pissed because he is trying to sleep. Later, Ashley is cleaning up the empty pizza boxes, when Andrew pushes her and throws a pizza box. Ashley goes into the corner, so she can sit and cry. Ty makes Andrew clean up the mess, while Em and Ty say he needs to talk to her. Ashley is hosting her very own pity party "that's right, I deserve to be pushed by a grown man, yep." 

Ash is explaining herself to Callie, saying she had to hide from Ty and now she doesn't feel safe sleeping in the house. Ashley knows everything because she grew up in an abusive house and you can't let things go without punishment. Callie says she doesn't think Andrew has it in him to hurt a girl, but Ashley disagrees and says no one understands her. Ty says Andrew won't hit Ashley, but it's gotten out of hand. So Andrew comes downstairs and apologizes and says he never pushed her and she needs to get over it. Ash and Callie step outside and Ashley is crying. Again. Callie brings up her faith in God and says Ashley is here for a reason. So obviously, Ashley is staying in a hotel that night. She doesn't have parents, so she must stay in a hotel. Buh bye!!!

 Ashley comes home in the morning, because abuse can't happen when the sun is shining. Andrew is just now finding out that Ash stayed in a hotel and says it's just for the sympathy (duh). Ash wakes up Callie and tells it to her straight: it's not a big deal to Andrew, so figure out why it's such a big deal for you. Andrew finds "Body Language 101" on the bookshelf and starts checking it out for advice. 

Callie is flipping out because she overslept and her resume isn't done and she's not dressed and she has to be on the metro in 5 minutes. So Emily does her resume for her and Ashley has to go with her on the metro because Callie doesn't know how to do that, either. Then the bomb drops—it's a gay and lesbian publication. Callie is officially a fucktard. 

Ericka appears out of nowhere and is getting the scoop on the happenings of the evening from Andrew. Ericka assumes there's going to be a "conversation" between Andrew and Ashley. Later, Andrew says he thinks going up to Ash and talking to her just gives her the opportunity to tell her sad life story. I am starting to think Andrew is the smartest person on this show.

Callie, Ericka, and Mike head to the gay club because Callie has her first photo assignment for the paper. While there, Mike gets hit on left and right and takes a guy home...what about Tater??? So things are getting hot n' heavy and he stays the night. Yikes. 

Later, Ashley tells Josh she's sick of fighting and now she realizes she put pressure on Andrew to open up. She confesses to overreacting and being dramatic. Wow... Andrew apologizes and Ashley says she's willing to be the peanut gallery and laugh at his jokes. Naturally, Andrew tries to put his moves on Ash, but fails again.

Next week: Ericka is "going home" which I don't know if she means the house or...home home. Looks like there's also a lil something with Mike and his sexuality. We shall see.  

Posted by wittywriter7 at 12:01 AM CST

Updated: Thursday, February 4, 2010 7:17 AM CST

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Mood:  d'oh

Over the weekend, I made a dish I've been thinking about for awhile (that's right, I admit it, I think and dream about food). I saw this recipe for Sloppy Buffalo Joes on an Episode of Rachel Ray's 30 Minute Meals on The Food Network. The episode was trying to capture favorite junk foods (hot wings, loaded potato skins) and creating healthier versions of them. 

The sandwich is a sloppy joe style, but using ground chicken or turkey and making the sauce very similar to a hot wing sauce. It also incorporates the carrots and celery along with the bleu cheese, which is often served with a plate of buffalo wings.

For the sandwich you'll need 2 tablespoons of extra virgin olive oil, 2 pounds of ground chicken or turkey breast, 1 carrot peeled and chopped or grated, 2 stalks of celery chopped, 1 yellow onion finely chopped, 2-3 cloves of garlic (I used 4) finely chopped or grated, salt and freshly ground pepper, 2 tablespoons of red wine vinegar, 2 tablespoons of brown sugar, 1 tablespoon worcestershire sauce, 1/4 to 1/3 cup of hot sauce (I used Paula Deen's Hot Hot Wing Sauce and it was very spicy, I suggest mild), 1 cup of tomato sauce, 1 cup of chicken stock, 8 burger rolls split and toasted, 1 cup of bleu cheese crumbles, and 2 large dill pickles chopped (for topping the sammy). This recipe makes enough for 8 sandwiches.

Heat a large skillet with extra virgin olive oil over medium-high heat. Add meat and break it up with a wooden spoon, cook 5 to 6 minutes. Add in carrots, celery, onion, and garlic, season with salt and pepper, cook 7 to 8 minutes longer. In a bowl, combine the vinegar, sugar, worcestershire, hot sauce, tomato sauce, and stock. Pour into the pan and stir to combine. Simmer a few minutes more. Now...here the mixture was a little thin. I guess it depends on how you like your sloppy joes, but I like a very thick consistency, so I added 2 tablespoons of flour and cooked on high heat for several minutes. Pile sloppy buffalo filling onto buns and top with bleu cheese and pickles.

I served this with my 5-minute slaw (slaw, red wine vinegar, salt, sugar, celery seed, chopped green onions) alongside kettle-cooked salt and pepper potato chips, and fresh iced tea. You would've thought it was summer in the Phillips' house!  

Posted by wittywriter7 at 12:01 AM CST

Updated: Wednesday, February 3, 2010 6:48 AM CST

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Mood:  silly

I finally finished it—the new look of my old Web site! I've owned Witty Writer for just over two years now and have changed its design only once. As a writer, I have a bad habit of keeping everything—as in, everything I write, or have taken part in. I'm also incredibly self-centered, so I think everything I write is the gospel. 

Well, it was time to clean everything out and start over with my web design, so welcome to my clean, professional, un-Myspace-page-like, Web site.

This site has been, and will continue to be, the place where I can update friends, family, and future employers on my latest work. It's also a collection of things I've written in years past—although I cleared out alot of work that probably didn't represent me in the best light (ahem, 1000 date ideas for couples). 

To create the new look, I deleted everything from the old site and rewrote everything in HTML, by hand. As of now, I'm still working out a few kinks, but am overall very proud of the finished product.

Things you'll notice about this site is the lack of pictures of myself. Don't get me wrong, I look good, I just had way too many on the old site—the pictures were very dated and unprofessional. I had a new headshot taken last week, which will be the only self portrait on the site. I still link to my blog, but it's a tad more discreet. I had to face facts here, that my blog entries are often funny to me and others, but maybe not so funny to someone looking to hire me.

Bottom line is, I really just wanted a simple, clan look that would focus on the work I've done and the work I'm looking to accomplish and let those things speak for themselves.  

Along with maintaining the site, I do keep analytics of visitors, which averages to about 6500 visits each month—a number that's grown after Twitter and Facebook interaction. I also updated this sites key words and meta tags to get myself ranked higher in a Google search using "Holly A. Phillips". I was always ranked no. 1 with "Witty Writer," but who types in that? As of today, I'm no. 3 in Google by name search (my twitter name, Orange Julius, is no. 6). 

So what's next? New business cards and updating all of my social network sites—Twitter, Facebook, Monster, LinkedIn...

Let me know what you think of the new site! Unless you don't like it, then keep that to yourself.  

Posted by wittywriter7 at 12:01 AM CST

Updated: Tuesday, February 2, 2010 6:52 AM CST

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Mood:  celebratory

I was hating the Grammy's before they began, because all I heard about was Beyonce and Gaga—two performers I hate. Gaga kicked off the show with some weird factory scene ("The Fame Factory") and she was dressed in a lime green glitter glob.  

Don't get me wrong, it's not that she's too edgy for me. NO ONE is too edgy for me. It's that she's fake. She's in it for the money. She says she writes her songs from experience, but they're just about fame and sex. She also says she has always dressed like a crazy psycho—a complete lie. Previous pictures will show that she dressed pretty normal.

Anywho, Elton John performed with Gaga on the piano and all the homosexuals can die happy now. I do love this abut the Grammy's—you never know who's going to end up performing together. 

Umm...so then Stephen Colbert gets up and talks. And talks. And talks. I don't think he's too funny and it seemed like he was stalling to get to Song of the Year. The competition was between Gaga, Maxwell, Beyonce, Kings of Leon, and Taylor Swift. Beyonce won for Single Ladies. NEXT. (naturally she couldn't accept the award because she was backstage getting ready to fall on her fat ass). 

Speaking of fat asses, here comes J-LO...geez. After getting sidetracked by her hideous part down the middle, I realized she was introducing the cast for the "American Idiot" Broadway production. This was an interesting performance of Green Day's "21 Guns,"—half Broadway performers, half Green Day. I'm sure Green Day ever imagined their album would be turned into such a production, literally. 

Best Country Album was up next between Taylor Swift, LeAnn Womack, George Strait, and Zac Brown Band. Taylor Swift won, and I bet she was scared to accept the award. Beyonce's performance was up next, so I decided to tend to my garbage disposal, because I discovered it had a measuring spoon stuck in it. So, while I'm in the kitchen trying to pry the spoon out of my drain with a wire-cutter, I'm hearing Beyonce singing Alanis. What. The. Hell. As if I couldn't hate Beyonce more...now I do. 

Pink is up next, introduced by Seal. She waltzed out in a very virgin-like white robe thing. It kind of made me want to hide under my bed. Uh, then she took off the robe and revealed this disturbing ribbon outfit. So, let me get this straight: she makes her career from bashing "stupid girl" like Britney, but then wears an outfit like her? If she doesn't get bashed for worst dressed, I don't know who will. I honestly felt dirty for watching this, but whatever Pink. You're just too badass for me I guess.

Miranda Lambert and Keith Urban (love), took the stage to announce Best New Artist between Zac Brown Band, Keri Hilson (go girl!), MGMT, Silversun Pickups, and The Ting Tings. And the Grammy went to Zac Brown Band, wow! Go country :) I was expecting Keri Hilson or The Ting Tings, but hollar y'all! yeeee haawwwww

We were then blessed with the presence of Miley Cyrus to announce a performance of The Black Eyed Peas. Gotta be honest here, I wasn't feeling the masks. When am I ever feeling BEP? Pretty much never. So there's that. At this point, I realized the season finale of Tough Love 2 was on, so I flipped back and forth...the Grammy's were making me yawn. 

The adorable Jonas Brothers introduced a performance by Lady Antebellum, which was interrupted by technical difficulties. I do love a lil Lady A—this song, "Need You Now" is every drunk girl's anthem.

Best Comedy Album was between Spinal Tap, Stephen Colbert, Weird Al Yankovic, Patton Oswalt, Kathy Griffin, and George Lopez. Unfortunately, Colbert won...I was pulling for Griffin. 

Wow! Norah Jones and Ringo Starr took the stage to announce one of the million Lifetime Achievement Awards of the night. They also announced Record of the Year between Beyonce, The Black Eyed Peas, Kings of Leon, Lady Gaga, and Taylor Swift. Grammy goes to: Kings of Leon, for "Use Somebody."

Next was something I couldn't tell if it was a joke or not, until I saw Jamie Foxx. He performed "Blame it," which started off as an opera gig. Jay-Z looked pretty pumped for the the first time in the night. Jamie Foxx didn't even TRY to act like he was singing, as he was yelling during the CD performance. Luckily, one of my faves, T-pain arrived on stage. Then, we got some Slash added to the mix. Sure. At the end, Foxx apologized to Jay-Z for the autotune. Hil-arious. 

Justin Bieber and Kesha were up next to remind everyone about voting for Bon Jovi's song. Just a note that either Bieber is rully short, or Kesha is huge.   

Katy Perry and Alice Cooper announced the Trustees Award and the Best Rock Album between AC/DC, Eric Clapton and Steve Winwood, Green Day, Dave Matthews Band, and U2. Green Day wins! Probably the best moment of the evening so far. The Zac Brown Band performed afterward, with Leon Russel. 

Ah, Ryan Seacrest came onstage to announce a performance by Taylor Swift. Some Tweets were confirming my thoughts that she was quite out of key, but I still love the girl. And then, Stevie Nicks joins her onstage. Holy hell. Didn't see that one coming!

Lionel Richie was on stage next, quoting Michael Jackson. FINALLY! The Michael Jackson tribute. Unfortunately, I didn't have my 3D glasses...Michael Jackson's, "Earth Song" was performed by Celine Dion, Carrie Underwood, Usher, Smokey Robinson, and Jennifer Hudson. Honestly, the song gives me chills because I heart MJ, forever. But seriously, I'm shocked that more artists didn't join in. And I really thought they were going to have a 3D version of MJ on stage...is that insane? Well..then Prince and Paris take the stage in head-to-toe Michael attire. I know people say they don't resemble MJ at all, but I beg to differ. Okay so they're not black, but their voices are dead on. They accepted his Lifetime Achievement Award on his behalf and gave a very sweet thank you.

Sheryl Crow followed to announce the Merit Award and a performance by Bon Jovi.......with Sugarland? What the? Whatever. NEXT. 

The Grammy for Best Rap Song Collaboration between Beyonce, Kanye, Jay-z, T-Pain, and Justin Timberlake. Grammy goes to Rihanna, Jay-Z, and Kanye West for "Run This Town." It's a shame Kanye wasn't there.

At this point, I'm not going to lie, I was severely turned off and straight up bored. I heard the performance for Haiti. Eh. I'm all for helping other countries, but I think this has been shoved down our throats to no end and we're all going to get sick of it and not want to help in three months when the Haitians really need it. Just a thought.

Adam Sandler announced the performance of The Dave Matthews Band. Always been a DMB fan, always will be. Let's face facts, I was checked OUT at this point. 

Ricky Martin was on stage next and kept saying "let me feel the heat." Ehh whatever. Best Female Vocal went to Beyonce, who beat Taylor Swift and Adele. GOD.

LL Cool J was on stage to announce the Recording Academy Lifetime Achievement Award and the performance of Maxwell. And with the announcement of Jeff Beck's performance, I turned it off. Call me crazy, but the Grammy's suck. And frankly, every year they piss me off because often, true musical talent goes unnoticed.

So I missed Album of the Year. Chances are, I hate the person who won it. Here's to NOT watching next year's Grammy's.  

{Editor's note: I saw on the news this morning that Taylor Swift won Album of the Year for "Fearless." I definitely don't hate her. I also saw a clip of Lil Wayne's performance, which I will have to YouTube later.} 

Posted by wittywriter7 at 12:01 AM CST

Updated: Monday, February 1, 2010 6:59 AM CST

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Mood:  blue

You don't want to read this blog. It's not about my favorite things, nor is it about whiskers on kittens or copper kettles. In fact, it's not the least bit cheerful or optimistic. 

That's right, I'm going to say it. Things suck for me right now. It's because I'm stressed. And I'm stressed about pretty much everything I could be stressed about. I think I'm always a little stressed about something, but when more than one or two things gets out of hand—I flip my shit. My normal, cool facade goes straight into bitch-mode and you don't want to cross my path.

But what could I be stressed about? Well, let me just give you a typical run down of my day, BOB. My alarm starts ringing at 6:01 each morning. Around 6:28, I roll my fat ass out of bed and hit the shower. Afterward, I feed my cat and pack a shitty lunch because I'm currently saving every penny I have for when I lose my job in six months. I leave for work around 7:30, fight the traffic with my middle finger stuck out the window, and roll into the office just before 8. Coffee is always first on my agenda and if it isn't made, I want to throw a temper tantrum.

In the mornings, I usually tackle e-mails and meetings, unless I have writing to do. Around lunch, I dread eating that shitty lunch I packed because I'm hungry and wish I could just eat out. So I eat lunch at my desk while I work. Since I'm huge, I usually finish my lunch in 15 minutes, making me hate my life even more.

I leave work around 4:30 and fight traffic to get home. On the way home I stress about losing my job. Upon entering my complex, I have to press a button on a remote because I live in a gated community. Chances are the gate doesn't open, which I then get out of my car and flip off the leasing office and demand a refund on my rent. Then I try to wreck my piece of shit car into the side of the building because I hate it and I'm too poor to get a new one and then I realize that I hate living in my stupid complex for said reasons. When I get home, I freeze to death because I am officially too cheap to turn the heat on because I am saving every penny for when I lose my job.

The job thing is a multi-layered issue. Last year, I was worried about losing my job when maybe I shouldn't have been. But this year, nearly everyone in my office is afraid of getting the ax. I'm trying to do the responsible thing by saving money and looking for new job opportunities. Well, it sounds dandy, but saving money sucks. I can't go to the bars and drink like I once did, go out for a nice meal, or even buy myself a pretty new pair of shoes. I feel guilty for anything that costs money unless it's food, rent, or gas. Looking for jobs is just another set of problems. It takes time and patience—two things I wish I had. And let's be honest, there aren't many jobs out there, period. So ask me about Kohl's discounts in six months because that's probably where I'll be working.  

Shortly after I get home, I force myself to put on workout clothes and make it to the gym. If you haven't figured it out, I hate working out. I don't run, pretty much hate walking, don't ride a bike. I have no interest in any sort of physical activity. The only reason I'm doing it is because I agreed to do Race for the Cure. I can't run a mile to save my life, so how I'm going to run three to save someone else's is beyond me. The "gym" I go to is in my apartment complex, which only has a few treadmills and bikes. So I usually run/walk for as long as I can or until I have a mental breakdown and walk back to my igloo where I cook myself a shitty dinner because of the said reasons. 

After dinner, I work again. I am always on a freelance deadline, which I am thankful for the money. But of course I'd rather be doing something else at 8 p.m. at night. After that, I usually write this blog. Or watch television where everyone else's life is better than mine. I usually sleep off and on through the night, interrupted by my teeth grinding, nightmares, or general stress about my suck ass life. 

When the weekend comes, the only real perk there is getting to sleep in. I still have freelance to do, shitty meals to eat, and forced workouts to do. Occasionally, there's a date slipped in, but let's face facts—I'm such a bitch that everything just ends up in a fight. 

Don't worry, I'm not going to kill myself. However, checking myself into a mental hospital for anger management sounds like a splendid plan.  

Posted by wittywriter7 at 12:01 AM CST

Updated: Friday, January 29, 2010 8:20 AM CST

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Mood:  irritated

Episode 5—For the record, I was definitely watching the State of the Union before this came on. But then I figured watching the Real World DC was equally productive and politically savvy. 

I watched the last five minutes of last week's, which apparently I missed because I didn't see that Mike and Ash "buried the hatchet." Whatever. This house really pisses me off sometimes.

So this week, we are reminded that Ericka came to DC to pursue her musical dreams. I don't get why this cast is so goal-oriented. What happened to getting on Real World to live it up and barf everywhere?

Sooooo remember when Josh had a girlfriend? Yeah well he calls her, and we get the back story of how they met and that she took him inside from da hood. Aawww the American dream. 

Ty and Emily are back on. And then we get a detailed description about how they kiss and it makes me want to vomit. Ty says he likes Emily. No shit. We've all figured that out, lame ass. 

So josh gets a call and finds something out, but I wasn't listening. I think his girlfriend cheated. So he calls her up and wants to know what she did that weekend. She says she has nothing to tell him...but he's like you're hiding shit from me. And wow does the ghetto come out of this chick. Then he's all, "I don't know if I can do this. Bye." HANGS UP ON HER. HOLLAR!!!

So Josh says he needs pain inflicted on him in some way so he decides to slit his wrists. Or maybe he gets his nose pierced, I don't really know. Later he says that he really doesn't think his gf would cheat on him....so why the long face? 

Ericka meets up with some band she has on her ipod and wants to sleep with them. Then they ask her to sing with them and she goes home and tells her boyfriend about it. But she acts all cool about it and she's all, "it's in front of 1000 people. It should be cool." sure.

Ty once again offers his love opinions and says girls are the ones wanting to settle and guys aren't. Uhhhhhhhhhh excuse me, but I'm pretty sure Emily is the one who is the "free bird" and you want to be in a relationship. But maybe that's just my imagination. Enter some lame Tom and Jerry reference about how Ty is the cat. Riiiight.

Ashley, Josh girlfriend, arrives and all is right in the world. She looks like a blonde Ericka....weird. They are pretty mushy, so I was sick during this part.

Ashley comes out and says she likes to drunk dial. GASP!!!!!!! Then....wait....Callie says she is too. What is this, friggin REHAB? These chicks are crazy whores! Somehow, it comes out that Callie likes jerkoff guys and then Emily gets all judgmental because girls are supposed to be independent and not chase guys.

So Ericka heads off to practice with the band...The Cab. Apparently the band is learning one of her  songs, not the other way around. So all the roomies come on out to da bar to hear her sing. She looks like she is about to cry before she goes on stage and she says that is THE MOMENT she's been waiting for her whole life. No Pressure. Hot mic, hot mic...there were some issues here. Major. 

So Ashley and Josh are out at dinner or something and Ashley keeps hinting at getting engaged. Josh just ain't havin it.

So back at the house, The Cabbies come over and Callie is all over it. She asks one of the guys if he has a girlfriend and he says no....but apparently he is a liar...

Next, Josh and Ash are back at the airport, crying because they have to part ways. Then it's this dramatic kiss in front of the shuttle and eewwww gross.

Back at da bars, Callie is going to up random guys and introducing herself by saying "hi. do you have a girlfriend?" They all say yes, and she goes home to drunk dial. Her call goes a lil something like this: heeeeyyyyy, omg, I am soooooooo drunk. heh. heh. So my roommates are saying I should hang up on you. hehehe.

So Emily is offended because she doesn't like girls who need guys. Callie comes out and says she's being judged. Ty says she should not have opened that door and Callie starts crying. Later, Callie asks Emily for a one-on-one talk. Callie says she feels like Emily passed judgment on her for the drunk dial. Callie's all, "I'm not you, it's not your place." Emily gets offended when Ty gets brought up. 

And then I start a slow clap in my apartment. Alone. Finally, someone has made this cast interesting!

Back at the local rave, josh is all covered in glow sticks and is dancing with kelly anne? Who the hell is that? So josh brings her back home and Ashley is wearing an 80s rainbow bright costume. Everyone freaks their shit when Josh and KA start making out. KA leaves and Emily calls Josh out on it, when he denies the kiss. Josh calls his girlfriend and straight up lies to her, saying "I was good, you'd be proud of me." eewwww

Emily is "very content" with how things are going with her and ty. Frankly, I'm getting pretty annoyed by it, but what else is new? Back at the hizzie, emily says she is tired and her and ty get in a fight. I got pretty bored and zoned out at this point. 

The next morning, josh gets a call from Ash. She wants to know who he made out with and he says no one. And she says, well then why is there a picture of it online??? OOO SNAP. So he's all, uh I don't know and it's not me. Then he tells her she should just stop looking online. He says he isn't doing anything wrong because he didn't have sex with anyone and isn't getting his d**k sucked, like he could. EEHHHH what the heck??? So then he dumps her and hangs up on her. I feel bad for Ashley for like 20 seconds, then realize that the show has had like 2 whole dramatic moments just TONIGHT. awesome!

Ty and emily are having the talk again. zzzzzzz

Next week, Ashley and Andrew have a massive fight...to the point it looks physical...here's to hoping! 

Posted by wittywriter7 at 12:01 AM CST

Updated: Thursday, January 28, 2010 7:15 AM CST

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Mood:  vegas lucky

Ah, once again, I got another batch of dating advice from the Rod Ryan Morning Show on 104.1, the Rock of New Orleans on my way to work Tuesday. 

The topic was an article—"10 Things a Good Boyfriend Won't Ask You to Do." Hmm...interesting. The list goes as follows:

1. His laundry, 2. Buy gifts and cards for other people on his behalf, 3. Plan an entire vacation without his help, 4. Make him a sandwich, 5. Change your relationship status on Facebook, 6. Be his wake-up call, 7. Hang out with his ex, 8. Keep up with his favorite shows, 9. Lose weight, and 10. Keep our hair long.

My opinion on the list is as follows:

1. I've never been close enough to a guy for him to even put his gross laundry in my washing machine, so whatevs.

2. I'm not a damn secretary for anyone, so if a guy asked me to do this I would laugh in his face.

3. Who, in this economy, even has money to go on a vacation?! If my man said we could spend our anniversary somewhere (that is the article's example), then I would GLADLY plan an entire vacation without his help. Uh, yes two first class tickets to St. Thomas please. Uh huh, two weeks. A suite with a large bed, yes, and one of those refrigerators you open with a key... 

4. If a guy actually asked me to make him a sandwich it would piss me off, but anyone knows that I cook and bake so much, anyone I'm dating is never hungry enough to ask for food since there's always something cooking at my house.

5. Facebook is lame. End of story.

6. I have done this before—not on a daily basis, just as a favor to make sure he wakes up in addition to his alarm clock. Honestly I don't think it's a big deal.

7. I prefer not to even know who the ex-girlfriend is, so asking me to hangout with her definitely would not fly.

8. I have too many television shows to keep up with myself so it would be impossible for me to keep up with anyone else's. And really, what is the point of that? So we can have something to talk about? No. If we have to talk about TV shows, then we shouldn't be dating. 

9. Um, you can be assured if I guy ever asked me to lose weight he would be murdered. The article says instead of asking about losing weight, the guy should invite us to go biking or to a yoga class. Umm, no. I don't go biking and if my guy ever did yoga, I would dump him immediately. If you think I'm fat, then just dump me because I like being lazy. Pretty simple.

10. This was the big topic on the radio, since everyone knows guys like long hair. I don't have long hair, it's more medium-length, I've never heard any complaints, and I'm not planning on cutting it short any time soon. So whatever.

It's little rules like this that I just laugh at. I know, everyone has eal breakers and morals when it comes to relationships. However most of those don't come from a published list, they come from experiences. Every person is different and every relationship is different. Has your boyfriend or girlfriend ever asked you to do something you didn't think they should? 

Posted by wittywriter7 at 12:01 AM CST

Updated: Wednesday, January 27, 2010 7:12 AM CST

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Mood:  amorous

In case you haven't heard, WE GOIN' TO DA SUPERBOWL! You may be surprised to see my enthusiasm for football—a sport I am still learning to love. But, I love hype. And dammit, the Saints deserve to go. It's certainly exciting to be a part of the Who Dat Nation; everyone is in a good mood. Naturally, Sunday night's game has been all the rage at the water cooler. 

After my successful run of the homemade Saints snack mix, I gave things another go around for the big game last weekend. I haven't done any serious baking since Christmas and I have a mixer I had to put to use (thanks Angela!). So I made a batch of Saints-inspired black bottom cupcakes, recipe courtesy of The Hummingbird Bakery.

These cupcakes have a dark chocolate sponge-cake as a bottom layer, topped with cheesecake. Of course, there is an option to add cream cheese frosting...but I chose not to add the extra calories.

For the chocolate sponge base, you'll need 1.5 cups of all purpose flour, 1/2 cup plus one tablespoon of sugar, 1/3 cup of unsweetened cocoa powder, 1/2 teaspoon of baking soda, 1/4 cup of sunflower oil (I used sesame seed oil), 1.5 teaspoons of distilled white vinegar, and 1/2 teaspoon of vanilla extract. For the cheesecake filling you'll need 4.5 ounces of cream cheese, 1/3 cup of sugar, 1 egg, 1/2 teaspoon of vanilla extract, a pinch of salt, 2/3 cup of chocolate chips (I used the mini chips), and of course a 12-hole cupcake tray lined with paper cups. 

Preheat the oven to 325 degrees. Make the chocolate base first. Put the flour, sugar, cocoa powder, and baking soda in a large bowl and mix with a handheld electric whisk on slow speed until all dry ingredients are well-mixed.

Put the oil, vinegar, vanilla, and 1/2 cup of water in a container and mix. While the mixer is going in the dry ingredients, slowly add the wet ingredients. Continue to mix until all of the ingredients are well incorporated. Spoon the mixture into the cupcake liners (I did one spoonful in each cup and saved the extra for later). Set aside. 

For the cheesecake filling, beat together the cream cheese, sugar, egg, vanilla, and salt with an electric mixer on medium speed until smooth. Fold in the chocolate chips until evenly dispersed (I also added a ribbon of caramel at this point just for added 'Saints' effect).

Scoop the cream cheese filling into the paper cups—this is where I used the remainder of my chocolate cake batter, so the chocolate would be visible on top of the cupcake, too. Bake for about 20 minutes or until the cheesecake has a golden color—don't over bake or the cheesecake will become dry and crumbley.

Without the frosting, these things are a real treat. The chocolate is rich, while the cheesecake is moist. So delicious.

Aside from my Saints cuppy-cakes, I also whipped up a delicious pasta that packs plenty of New Orleans' flavor. I saw this recipe on an episode of Ten Dollar Dinners with Melissa D'Arabian on Food Network. If you haven't seen this show, it's worth watching. The challenge is to serve four people for $10. Usually, she'll make a dish along with a dessert.

The dish, sausage and roasted vegetable penne, was very easy and incredibly tasty. It calls for 1 sweet onion cut into wedges, 1 medium zucchini sliced in half length wise, 1 red bell pepper with cheeks removed, olive oil, salt and pepper, 1/2 pint grape tomatoes, 1/2 pound button mushrooms stemmed, 2 sweet or hot italian sausages thinly sliced or casings removed, 12 ounces of whole grain penne, and freshly grated parmesan if desired.

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Toss vegetables in olive oil (2.5 tablespoons). Season with salt and pepper, to taste. Arrange on baking sheet (leave out the tomatoes for now) and roast until caramelized—about 30 minutes. About half way through, turn the vegetables and add the tomatoes to the baking sheet. 

While the veggies are roasting, cook the sausage in a large skillet over medium heat. Saute until cooked through, turn up the heat and add white wine to deglaze the pan. Cook the pasta according to instructions. Once the vegetables are cooked, let them slightly cool and rough chop them. Mix everything—vegetables, sausage and pan drippings, and penne—in a large dish. Top with parmesan.

It's so simple, but the vegetables all have great flavor from roasting. The sausage holds onto the wine well and has a great texture. This is inexpensive and healthy!

For the Super Bowl, I'm already thinking of food ideas. Right now, I'm thinking a new take on sloppy joes (ground turkey with hot wing sauce and bleu cheese). What will you be cooking? 

Posted by wittywriter7 at 12:01 AM CST

Updated: Tuesday, January 26, 2010 6:52 AM CST

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